He said to them, “Do you bring in a lamp to put it under a bowl or a bed? Instead, don’t you put it on its stand? For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open. If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.”

In our introductory course to interpersonal communication, we teach our students about how self-disclosure affects relationships.  The level of trust in a relationship often determines the amount of self-disclosure.  Not surprisingly, research shows that the more someone feels secure in a relationship, the more willing they are to self-disclose.  Of course, some people reach the feeling of security much sooner than others.  In a strange way, being quick to trust or being slow to trust can often lead to frustration for one or both of the people in a relationship.  Our experiences with others often influence how we interact with new people in our lives.  These experiences may also influence how we interact with God.  If we do not feel secure in our relationship with Him, we might be slow to disclose information.  Perhaps we feel as if God doesn’t trust us because of something we’ve done and so, we choose not to talk with Him out of embarrassment, fear, shame, pride, etc.

In the passage above, Jesus is speaking to His disciples who have asked Him about the meaning of the parables He had been sharing with the crowds.  Jesus’ example here is quite on point:  you don’t get out a lamp for the purpose of hiding it.  What good is a light that is hidden?  For me, verse 22, speaks to the heart of the issue of self-disclosure.  God doesn’t intend for me to hide my thoughts and feelings from Him.  In fact, the very thoughts and feelings I want to hide are the ones that most need to be disclosed in conversation with Him.  It’s not that God doesn’t already know them (Psalm 139:1), but it’s that He wants me to trust Him enough and feel safe enough with Him to exercise my free will to tell Him these things.

One of the models we use to teach self-disclosure is the Johari Window.  The Window consists of four panes:  open, hidden, blind, and unknown.  These panes are divided into sections governed by what I know and don’t know about myself as well as what others know and don’t know about me.  I believe this model can serve as a useful guide to describe the role of self-disclosure in my relationship with God.

The hidden area consists of what I know about myself that others do not know.  As Psalm 139:1 points out, God already knows my thoughts.  There is nothing God doesn’t already know about what I think and feel.  God is asking me to disclose those hidden thoughts and feelings in an active manner through prayer.  He promises that I can boldly approach the throne of grace with confidence (Hebrews 4:16).

The blind area consists of what others know about me that I do not know myself.  Perhaps I have a particularly annoying behavior that I’m just not aware about until someone points it out.  Moving out of the blind area requires accepting feedback and correction from others.  I don’t do this very well but God promises that He gives correction to those He loves so that we are better able to reflect His character (Job 5:17-18; Proverbs 3:12).

The unknown area is what I don’t know about myself and others do not know.  Often students ask me how we know what information is in this pane if no one knows what it is.  Good point.  Basically, by looking at the other three panes, we’re able to get a picture of just how large the unknown area is or is not.  Once again, we come back to the point that God already knows everything about us.  For us to grow in our relationship with Him, we should purpose to know what He knows about us.  How does He see us?  Psalm 139 is a great anthem for the pursuit of uncovering the unknown.  Verses 23-24 are especially helpful:  “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

The open area is what I know about myself and others know about me.  This area consists of information that I have chosen to disclose.  We disclose information, as mentioned, based on the amount of trust we feel we have with someone along with how secure we feel.  In essence, the risk aversion to disclose is relatively low because we are exercising trust.  When the risk aversion is high, we leave our thoughts and feelings in the hidden area for no one—not even God—to know.  Yet, God is gently calling us to remove the lamp out from underneath the bowl.  He wants what is hidden in my life to be disclosed.  My risk aversion comes from my own insecurity and not from what is actually true about God and how He sees me.  Colossians 3:3 says that I am hidden in Christ.  This is the kind of hidden area that brings life and healing.

To transform our Johari Window with God, we need to trust God at His word—to have faith the size of a mustard seed.  He wants us to take the risk to move the information in the unknown, blind, and hidden areas into the open area by talking with Him.  He won’t walk away.  He won’t disappoint.  He promises to watch over your life and to keep you from harm (Psalm 121).

Go ahead.  Take the risk.